Hawaii Getaway: Bathing Beauty Part 1 of 5
These photos are long over do because it was not until this moment, this minute, this second that I was willing to reveal myself. As many of you know, over New Years Eve I accompanied my husband on a photo shoot he had in Maui. I went to relax and enjoy my time in the sun for 5 days while he worked away. Those of you who have been following me from the beginning know that I advocate for body positivity and the celebration of every body. Fat-fashion is my passion and my goal is to continue stepping out and proud with my naughty body regardless of what others may think or say. Some of my friends, often much slimmer than me, tell me I am the most confident person they know! Imaginate!!! So, I was delighted with the challenge of planning my outfits, packing my bathing suit, and taking some sexy photos with my hubby.
But this post is not my typical body positivity post, because I want to be honest with myself and you about my high and low moments. On this trip, I was caught by surprise when the foundation of my body positivity mantra began to shake and crumble. Once I arrived to that beautiful island paradise, I felt completely engulfed by a sea of white blonde scantily clad skinny bodies and my personal crisis began. Instead of feeling like La Chica Mas Fina most people know me as, I recoiled in fear, shame, and self-doubt. I was paralyzed by a fear of being visible and invisible and this Chicana body went into hiding.
Most of Day 1, I spent inside the room of our ocean front hotel staring below at all the people from the 10th floor. Several times I tried daring myself to walk outside in my sexy bathing suit. Three times I grabbed my sarong, my purse, walked into the elevator, out the elevator and through the side of the hotel, but before I got to the beach, I panicked, turned around and went back up to hide in my room. I asked myself how this could be happening to me? Me? The most defiantly proud one? Why after all my excitement had my confidence and convictions evaporated?
This photo was taken on Day 4 and posing for this picture was a defining moment for me that required me to face my fears head on and look deep inside myself to find La Chica Mas Fina again, pull her out, dust her off in order to get my sassiness back. Over the next few weeks, I will share a series of 5 photographs of me in my bathing suit on Day 4 and Day 5. Along with some insights into my trip, I will tell you how I overcame my personal crisis and the friends, role models, fans, and hubby who helped me get my groove back!!!
Con Mucho Amor,
La Chica Mas Fina